I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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