Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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