no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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