sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
