I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
