I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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