why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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