He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
