he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
