yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
