Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
