I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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