i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
