You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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