i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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