Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
should my penis look like a turkey
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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