do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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