how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
