Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
