My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
