I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
only if we run a train.
done.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
