11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
