theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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