you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
