It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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