I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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