how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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