Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
