You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
