New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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