If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
