Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
