i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
