he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
