This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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