I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my mouth tastes like poor choices
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
