So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
