they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
