Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Send help, water and tortillas.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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