Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
