Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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