omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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