i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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