vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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