i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
