your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
