Who did Billy Mays play for?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
