I skipped work to stalk him.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have peed in a lot of sinks
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
