She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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