Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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