i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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